Those Three Words.

I think we all know what words I'm talking about.

Recently, I had my heart broken. The agonizing kind. The kind that makes you wanna scream profane words and cry in the shower. I kept reminding myself that it was a part of life, and that I would be stronger in the end. I eventually got there...but only after a continuous debriefing by my friends, epiphanies in my favorite Italian restaurant, and post-its on my wall reminding me what an asshole he was.

My heart broke because of the absence of those words I wanted to hear so badly. But they never came. And when I finally found the courage to say them, all I heard was, "I know." After hearing that, and a series of other explanations that circled around his emotional constipation, I lost hope.

I really don't understand why it's so hard to love. I would give up a whole lot to experience that feeling again, rooted deep in my heart. What confuses me is, why are people so scared and so resistant to give in?

Why did he find it so easy to walk away from me?

I used to ask myself this question every day. I started to resist. I started to act like the 'cool girl.' I avoided him like I would a land mine, treading around the memories I once lived over and over again in my mind.

After several mornings of my eyes progressively looking like Kermit the Frog's , I realized I needed to start fresh. I found happiness in other things. Like theatre. Literature. Music. Friends.

Oh, and do I have the most beautiful and strongest friends.

I moved on. I grew. (with the help of some amazing advice, tear-jerker movies and heavenly chocolate.)

I'm finding forgiveness. I'm finding strength. It's possible.

Don't regret anything. Instead, know that it was his loss, and now you get to find someone to give your goods to, someone who actually deserves it.

Image.