But we've got to stop thinking they can be owned or trained!
The biggest disaster? Dating a guy because he's a project.
I did that once. He had 'project' written all over him. Tall, blonde, sexy project. He was gorgeous, heartbroken, and was writing a book. I had Kleenex and could proofread with the anal precision of a brain surgeon.
Surely, it was kismet.
But no, Hercules didn't make me happy. And though he changed, though he felt and said and did all the right things, it had 'me' written all over it. What I liked, I'd made. Other times, he was stubborn and boring.
What I'm trying to say is, stop dating men to fix them. We're not trying to convert them to Church of Perfect Boyfriend. He doesn't need to be saved. Don't expect him to turn a leaf for you. Stop dating guys who need that 'extra push'. I'm not saying give up your standards. I'm saying, wondering, 'Will he change for me?' is stupid.
Date a non-idiot, love him for who he is, put down the toolbox, and let him see you without make up.
To Pem:
You're being Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
You're right, it's not about love. It's about power. And that's bad territory.
You miss the hold you had on this guy, and you're trying to exercise it, to make sure you've still got it.
But, why would you even want it? No one's getting anything from this.
Honor what you had, save yourself the time, effort, and self-loathing, and let him go. Every time you feel the urge to lash out at him, email me and bitch about it.
Remember when Fon got drunk and stupid?
What did you say to her to get her to sleep?
"Stop what you're doing. You're making a fool of yourself. You look like an idiot."
Sometimes, we need the people who love us most to tell us that.
I love you baby, and this isn't good.
Image.
2 comments:
I'ts wrong to compare men to dogs because in the end there somewhat like gods at least mine is...you get DOGS = GODS haha its i hope your readdy to be recieving some really angry messages
I really am so lucky to have you and tash you two are really amazing people.
by the way nicha i am starting to understand you bra and panties fetish. i got a set today and I'm completely hooked... its gorgeous.
i love you.
I know men aren't dogs. I love men. At times, they can be incredibly...I don't even know the right word for it...they can just be assholes. And at other times, they can be the source of our pure joy.
I'm so happy for you, Pemala. That you found someone you can make you smile and cringe and give you the big O. ;)
I've just been exposed to the not-so-pretty side of men (recently) and I'm waiting for someone to remind me how wonderful they really can be. And I know it will happen, eventually. So until then, I just feed off of good movies, good books, our magnificent girl talks, and Nicha's paintings. :)
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